It seems like every year it creeps up on me and hits me right at the time I'm least expecting it - i.e. I've been waiting and watching for it, I wait longer and longer, something in my brain temporarily convinces me that perhaps it won't hit me as hard this year, I forget to notice the signs of approaching depression, then BOOM! it's upon me and I missed its arrival. EVERY SINGLE YEAR. You'd think I'd have learned the pattern by now. I expect it to hit around mid-October, it doesn't, Halloween distracts me, early November still sees me feeling okay, it hits me mid-November - right in time for Turkey-Day. And I suddenly "notice" because someone else points it out to me - I can't see it anymore because the gradual arrival of the depression has pulled a blanket over me. It's so god-awful frustrating.
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There is a lot of dread involved with my SAD. I dread the onset of depression as winter approaches. I dread the dwindling amount of daylight. I dread my mood when the depression sets in. I dread what others will do or how they will react when the depression comes. The anticipation is usually worse than the actual event - speaking generally on all subjects - but with SAD, the anticipation and the actual effects I anticipate are pretty evenly awful.
About Me
- Nina
- I'm an avid swing dancer, a proud Minnesotan by birth, and I've got a soft spot for Boston. I love anything British, used bookstores, and delicious smells emanating from the kitchen.
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