Taboo...

Why is "depression" such a taboo word?

Seriously. People are so afraid of that word. I have to be very careful who I tell about my depression for fear of unfair judgment based on a word and the social connotations of that word, which takes any ounce of "me" out of their judgment of who I am.

And people that do know don't really get it either. How many times have I heard that classic response, "Oh, well, you know, when I get depressed, I just think about happy things and it cheers me up again." (Or some similar type of advice on how to 'get rid of my depression'.)

My speculation about the crazy taboo that is attached to depression has brought me to a few theories (of course, I may never get to any actual reasons).

1. Depression affects a person's mood and emotional state. And humans are extremely sensitive to others' emotions. We react to others based on what we sense about their emotional state, in addition to words or actions that a person is sending out. For a person not familiar with the effects of depression, this "depression-modified" emotional state is terrifying. A depressed person is suddenly unpredictable and dangerous. Their emotions are altered by a "foreign entity" that the other person does not recognize or understand. How then is a person supposed to effectively react and interact with the depressed person's emotional state?

2. People suffering from depression feel threatened by the outside world (whether justified by this socially-created taboo, or simply a product of the paranoia that grips a person suffering from depression, that's up for more speculation, of course). But we feel a bit less threatened by others who are also suffering from depression. And so we set up this sort of "in-crowd" of Depressed People. And this "in-crowd" is a very exclusive group; that exclusivity created by the fear of judgment and/or misunderstanding by the outside world. Don't immediately agree with me? Think about it this way: for those of you reading this who suffer from some form of depression, have you ever told someone that they will never fully understand depression because they haven't experienced its effects first-hand? And for those of you who do not suffer from depression, have you ever been told that by someone you know who does suffer from depression? Depression is impossible to completely understand if you've never personally experienced it. People can come close, if they've read a lot about it, or supported a family member or a friend who suffers from depression. Some people are allowed in the "in-crowd" based on amount of exposure to Depressed People. But you have to work hard to be included in this "in-crowd," well, unless you have depression. Then you have a free entrance ticket that's good for life.

3. Depression is often associated with suicide. And thus, a HUGELY bad reputation. Anything that would cause a person to want to kill themselves is obviously evil and should be avoided at all costs, right? (Um, remember that I don't think that myself...but I can think of many people I've met who would say that exact sentence.)

4. We are all afraid of what we do not understand. I think this is a big reason for the taboo...the fear of this thing called Depression. What is it? What does it do? How do you know if someone has it? How does you act around a person that has depression? What if you act wrong and offend them? Is depression contagious? Can if effect you like second-hand smoke affects a person? Is there something about a person that pre-ordains them to get depression? If so, what is it and do you have it? How do you know if you have it?

I guess there really are a number of reasons for this huge taboo about depression. And it's unfortunate, because it causes me to be afraid to use the word in normal conversation, lest someone hear it, realize I have it, and "judge me accordingly" (i.e. by the word instead of by who I am).

[And this in turn messes with my head. Topic for another post, I suppose, lest I digress too much from my subject: I've been living with my depression officially for 6 years now (unofficially, or pre-diagnosis, for who knows how much longer). And in those 6 years, I've been in counseling for 5.5 years. And every year I grapple with a new layer of my difficulty accepting my depression...and oftentimes this has to do with society's view of my mental illness.]

Really, this taboo will only disappear with education and exposure and acceptance. (How idealistic does that sound, huh?) People need to be exposed to the word, the people suffering from that word, and the true definition that word. And that word is obviously depression.

Hmm, lemme try something:

DEPRESSION!!!
Depression, depression, depression.

Depression.

DE-PRESS-ION

Depression...depression...depression...DEPRESSION!!!

Now, after reading that word a number of times, you feel just a little bit more comfortable with it, don't you? I know I do. (You also perhaps have started to think it's spelled wrong...which happens when you look at a word for too long...I know that's also what happening to me, haha!) And that has to be the first step for erasing this horrible taboo that we all suffer from. I sometimes wonder if "suffering from depression" should really be changed to "suffering from society's negative view of depression" because I don't feel like I'm 'suffering' from depression. I 'live' with depression. It's a part of who I am. And I don't think I'm a scary or dangerous person...why should the depression make me suddenly scary and dangerous?